Pieces of the Past
by onlyonceinforever
Summary: She's the only person in the whole world who calls me Spence...' Well, ever since back then, atleast.Spencer Reid reflects on the one person he misses the most. Part of the Past Life series, set after Don't Go. :ONESHOT:


**Disclaimer: I own Criminal Minds about as much as I own a Pop Tart right now. That would be none at all, for those of you who were wondering. **

**A/N: This idea has been nagging at me for a while now, but I kind of have writer's block regarding just about everything at the moment, so I'm not so sure how this is going to turn out. But I did need to get it done now, as opposed to later, since midterm exams are coming, and I actually need to study for those instead of writing fanfiction as I have in past years. So, this might end up being entirely rewritten at some later date.**

**Pieces of the Past**

It wasn't every day that Spencer Reid was called down to the guidance office. When he did, it was usually in order to congratulate him on yet another academic achievement. But this time was different.

Yes, this time he was there for something else. There was no award, no country-wide recognition. No, this time it was much more personal than that.

Spencer had been pulled out of his seventh period class of the day shortly before the final bell. He silently made his way down two flights of stairs and down the hallway to the guidance office, where he was met by his counselor, Ms. Tebit, who waved him inside wordlessly.

Once Spencer had taken a seat as was indicated he should do, Ms. Tebit spoke.

"Spencer, is there anything you want to talk about?"

Spencer stared at her blankly. He wanted to say that yes, there was something he wanted to talk about - many things, actually - but the one he knew he was there to discuss was not among them. He shook his head and stared at the floor.

"Are you sure? Like this, for example?" Ms. Tebit held up a piece of paper that Spencer recognized as his a list of comments from his teachers regarding his recent performance in class. He remained silent and allowed her to continue uninterrupted. "Spencer, I must say, I was very surprised and rather disappointed to see what your teachers have to say about you these past few weeks. 'Completed work is mediocre at best,' 'Spencer no longer participates in class,' 'Recent tests and quizzes indicate suffering grades.' Spencer, I must tell you, I am very concerned about this."

Spencer shifted his gaze from the floor to the closed window.

"Is there a particular reason for your lack of concentration recently? Did something happen at home? Here?"

Spencer shrugged indifferently.

"Spencer, if there's something going on here, I need to know."

Silence. Ms. Tebit observed the young boy sitting in front of her. She could tell he wasn't really paying attention to a word she was saying, opting instead to stare out that window, not really looking at anything, thinking. The look in his eyes was sad, sadder than she had ever seen them before. The poor boy looked as if he would break and shatter into a million pieces of pushed too far. But it was her job to try anyway.

"Is this about your friend Alexandra moving?" The reaction was immediate. Spencer's gaze shot up from the window to her face, a look of almost abject horror plastered on his boyish features. It was as if he couldn't believe that someone knew what was going on with him and actually wanted to help. Before this, the only one who had done that was... well, Alex. "Where did she move to, again?"

There was a slight pause before the answer, as Spencer attempted to force his vocal cords to perform correctly.

"Connecticut." Considering his state of mind at the time, the word came out relatively normally.

"Connecticut, hmm? One of my sisters lives there. Do you know whereabouts in Connecticut?"

Spencer shook his head, despite the fact that he _did_ know.

"Huh. What was the reason behind the move?"

"Job transfer."

"Ah. I see. So, I take it you miss her."

Spencer stared at the woman, unable to believe that she could even ask such a ludicrous question in such a dismissing manner.

"I'll take that as a 'yes.' Have you had any communication with her since she left?"

Spencer shook his head. Alex had said she'd call once everything got situated, but for some reason, he doubted it. He knew the way she was. When Alex knew things were heading south, she had a tendency to distance herself from everything to avoid the pain of leaving it all behind. The reality of the situation was, if Alex started distancing herself, there was nothing you could do. That's why Spencer didn't even see her the day the family moved. Alex didn't want him to. And he, for some stupid reason, had accepted that.

"Do you think it would help if you spoke with her?"

Spencer's response was the same as before.

"Do you think it would make things worse?"

Spencer shrugged, even though he knew it to be true. Talking to her, hearing her voice would just make things even harder. Besides, Alex had gone out of her way before she left to keep the two of them apart, so where was the point of undoing all that? Some processes are for the best, plain and simple.

"But maybe it would do the both of you some good. I'm sure she's not having a picnic up there without you."

No. Alex wanted it this way. And Alex had done so much for Spencer in the past. The absolute least he could do was respect her wishes.

"Are you sure?"

Spencer nodded resolutely. If there was ever one thing he was sure of, it was this.

"Maybe time will change things."

Of course they would. In time, his best friend would probably move on, forget about him, be happy with her new friends and never give him a second thought. Spencer shook his head subconsciously, trying to rid himself of the ugly thoughts. He knew Alex would never forget him, the same way he would never forget her.

"How can you be sure?"

Normally, Spencer would have answered the question with some statistical explanation that would show her precisely how he could be so sure. But this time he didn't. There wasn't a point.

"Have you been bullied since she left?"

Spencer's eyebrows raised slightly at the change in the line of questioning. He shrugged, not particularly wanting to divulge that information to someone who might as well be a perfect stranger. Hell, the only reason he told Alex was... well, actually, he never told Alex. She always just knew. That's just the way things were. But now...

"Spencer, if someone's been picking on you, you need to tell me."

Spencer looked out the window again, intent on not dignifying the statement with a response. Once it became apparent that he wasn't going to answer, the counselor moved on.

"Have you talked to your parents about this? How you're feeling?"

It took all Spencer had not to scoff at the question. Even if he had, they wouldn't care. They never liked her in the first place, so why would they care that she was gone? It wasn't as if they payed much attention to their youngest son, anyway.

"Is everything okay at home?"

Had Alex been the one answering the question, not Spencer, the response would have been quick, bitter, and sarcastic in his defense. 'Oh yeah, everything's just peachy keen with the people who don't deserve to call themselves parents.' That's what she would have said. Alex never did like Spencer's genitors, and insulted them every chance she was provided. Not that Spencer minded, of course. He agreed with everything she had to say on the matter, but never had the gall to say it himself. That was another thing he missed about Alex - the ability to speak her mind, no matter the setting or who was around.

The counselor observed him again, watching the way his eyes shifted around the small office as he seemingly pondered the question.

"I guess." His gaze landed on the clock. "May I go? I have a bus to catch."

It was the most the boy had said all afternoon and frankly, it caught Ms. Tebit by surprise, delaying her answer because of it.

"What? Yes, of course you may." She watched as he stood and gathered his belongings. "You'll come to me if you want to talk?"

Spencer paused in mid-step to turn and look at her.

"Sure." He didn't mean it; she could tell. And then he was gone. Gone, out into the big wide world that would threaten to swallow him whole if he wasn't careful. But she knew he would be okay. He would fight to stay on top, if not just to make _her_ proud.


End file.
